Years ago, I had a young niece (by a short-lived marriage) who was never told “no”. She was about 3 to 4 years old at the time.
One day, she saw me using my pocketknife, and she demanded it. I said she couldn’t have it. She started throwing a tantrum- as was her habit.
I was immediately attacked by my wife and in-laws. I was scolded that I can’t let her see something and then not let her have it.
I let it be known that’s not how I operate.
I asked what was going to happen when she was older and saw a car she wanted. Was she going to think she was entitled to it and just take it? I said, "She’ll end up in prison or dead if you keep raising her this way".
My perfectly reasonable observation was not appreciated.
She was also much larger and stronger than other kids her own age, and because of how she was being raised, she would steal other kids' toys and snacks and bully them. She'd hit kids who didn't do what she wanted. She'd scream and scream at anyone who made her mad- and she was always mad!
Then she'd cry because no one wanted to play with her.
Adding to my reputation as the mean one, I would tell her that if she wanted kids to play with her, she would have to be nicer to them. Don't hit them, don't scream at them, and don't take their stuff. You might be shocked, but I got berated for that, too.
I sometimes wonder what happened to her. I fear I might have been her only hope at that point in her life, and I wasn't around very long.
I think of her when I see videos of entitled people committing crimes, and sometimes getting treated to a dose of self-defense. Raising a kid that way is not being kind to them. It's setting them up for failure- to be hurt or killed by an intended victim. Her family was working to doom her to that fate. I tried to plant some healthy seeds.
