Panic

At this moment I am confronting my biggest phobia. I may be on my way to the hospital or something. I know I should go. And for me to feel bad enough to consider that means I feel bad. I haven't felt like eating in days- among other things. I have no money, no insurance, and I don't want welfare. I feel like I'm dying and I am scared out of my mind. I don't want to leave my 4 year old daughter fatherless, but I also don't want to die and leave her with a lot of debt from my hospital bills.

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