Saturday, June 30, 2007

Mummified Rulers - The Best Kind!

The recent identification of a mummy dug up in 1903 as the Egyptian Pharaoh/Queen Hatshepsut has got me wondering why we don't mummify (or just stuff) our Presidents. Do dead Rulers need to age like wine in order to become valuable? Maybe. They are a dime a dozen presently. Would they be more interesting if dug up 3500 years from now? It took over one hundred years for the mummy of Hatshepsut to be identified. With a little prior planning, future generations could be spared the frustration of trying to figure out which body (technical term: "people jerky") used to be which Ruler, although a plague of "John Adamses" and "George Bushes" complicates matters a bit, not to mention the "Johnsons" and the "Roosevelts". Cram a ceramic tablet engraved with the name and Wikipedia URL in the mummy's mouth to save future archaeologists time and effort. And why stop with only the President? We could stuff Congresscritters, Supreme Courtjesters, governators, and even local potentates. Speaking of "stuffing": there are a few big, modern pyramids in America that we could use as tombs. I have driven past the one in Memphis a few times. We could collect private donations to purchase one. I'm sure that as soon as word of our noble mission got out, many people would rush to help. How many mummies could fit into a building such as that? Since the walls are much thinner in these modern structures than in the pyramids of antiquity there is a much larger storage capacity. Skip the sarcophagi and stack the "mummies" like firewood and I'll bet you could fit millions in there. Especially with a little tamping after they get dry and crunchy. After all, comfort won't be a factor. This concept is thrilling to contemplate! Just wait though; some crybaby will probably whine that we should wait until they each die of natural causes before we stuff them.


PS: I should have mentioned Ron Paul in order to get more hits on my blog today. Oops, I guess I just did!