Tuesday, October 15, 2024

When "polite" is too costly


If being polite means I have to pretend lies are true, I'm not willing to be polite.

All my life I noticed I was expected to go along with obvious lies. In the past few years it has only gotten worse. A lot worse. On so many topics and issues-- it's everywhere.

This is a difficult situation for me. I want to be polite. I don't want to upset people or hurt their feelings. But I'm not going to nod along as people celebrate lies.

In some cases, when I've spoken up in the past and I like the person promoting the lies, I keep my mouth shut. They know; there's no need to keep rehashing the topic. Until or unless someone demands I say their lie is true. I won't do that. If I get pushed enough, I will be rude about it.

Sometimes people don't realize they are promoting a lie.
Sometimes they are doing it for personal reasons- to support someone they care about or to keep a job.
Often they are promoting a lie because they have to if they want to stay loyal to a political side. That's despicable, but whatever.

If I discover I've been propping up or promoting a lie, I want to change what I'm saying. It's unthinkable to me that some people aren't like that. But I know they aren't.

I wouldn't stop saying things like "You'll be okay" when I don't think they will be okay, because I don't want to take away someone's hope. But even that prickles my conscience a little. I might just give them a hug or a pat on the back without saying anything concrete if I'm there in person.

The lies that I am expected to go along with, even though they are harmful, even to those they are purported to be helping? No. Not gonna go along. I may still try to find a polite way to be hard on the lie and easy on the believers. If I can't, then the chips will fall where they fall.

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Thank you for reading.