Saturday, January 18, 2014

Thinking is what I do best

If there's one thing I do better than anything else, I would say that thing is thinking.  I think very well.

I'm not saying my thinking has any real world benefits outside my skull.  I might be like an artist who produces a huge number of works that never sell, but instead sit in his attic until he is dead and his relatives are left to figure out what to do with all this "stuff".

But I spend an awful lot of time and energy thinking.  Even if I am doing other things, I am thinking- often deeply detailed thoughts.  I can figure out almost anything, given the time and right information.  When I experience "flow", it is usually because some thought concept has suddenly started unraveling itself in my head- pushing aside all other thoughts until it is a fully formed Thought.

My thinking life has manifested itself in various physical ways.  As a child my thoughts usually became drawings.  Sometimes thoughts became toys when I was forced to make a toy I wanted, but which wasn't offered for sale anywhere.  It wasn't that I just made the things; the thoughts formed and I was compelled to make them take form.

As I entered that hell known as school, my thoughts became daydreams and doodles that spontaneously took form on any bit of paper while a "teacher" talked.  Even when real teachers spoke I could listen and process the information better if I kept my thinking brain busy by doodling- except in very rare cases where my mind was challenged enough that it needed all its faculties engaged to process what the teacher was saying.  Stop me from doodling and my "noisy" brain wasn't constructively distracted and I couldn't concentrate.  The "teachers" didn't believe me when I told them this fact, but it was completely accurate and true.

During high school I still doodled, but I also attempted to write fictional stories.  Which I hated when I re-read them.  My thinking was better than my writing, by far.

I have thoughts in so many different areas that I can't begin to list all the different types of creative things I have been forced to try to learn to do in order to make those thoughts real.  Once I get an idea in my head I can't move on until I do my best to give it physical reality.

In "adulthood" I have used my thinking to design things which met with varying degrees of popular success.  I have let my thoughts become paintings, flags, clothing, written works (blogs and columns and stories and even erotica), coins, useful household objects, skills I needed to learn, concepts I thought would solve problems, etc. All because I can't get my brain to shut up for even a minute.

I have a very active imagination, and can construct mental worlds with great detail (and dream in great detail, sometimes "lucid dreams") and can extrapolate very well.

That's not to say I believe I am above having flaws in my thought processes or that I'm never wrong.  I would be foolish to imagine that.   I am just saying I am very good at thinking, whatever that is worth.