The worthless, lazy uncle- Uncle Sam

How do you like supporting that worthless, lazy uncle- Uncle Sam?

He sits on your couch in his underwear and wife-beater shirt, eating your food and telling you what to buy.

He's a pervert and a snoop. His laptop is always on- he's busy hacking into everyone's personal stuff and salivating at their private pictures and videos. He watches you. He also has his own cameras set up in the neighbors' houses- in their bedrooms and bathrooms, even.

He is a child molester- but says it's OK when he does it because he does it for their own good.

He has never had a job, but has always lived by stealing. He says that's OK because he buys you gifts with your money.

He also runs a protection racket. He claims he keeps you safe from neighborhood bullies, but the main reason those bullies are a threat is because he goes around picking fights and trespassing. He's a bigger bully than anyone he claims to protect you from. In fact, he's the only real threat to your life, liberty, and happiness, no matter what he says.

Most of your other relatives say you should be grateful to have him around, because you couldn't survive without him.

The truth is the exact opposite. You would be fine without him, but he'd wither and die without you. And you'd be better off than you've ever been before. At the very least you should kick him out of your house and make him find someone else to sponge off of and push around for a while.

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