As President, I will ......

I just noticed that I have not been announcing what I would do if I were elected President. I have not promised to give money to this or that crisis. I haven't rattled my saber at any "outlaw nation". I haven't been doing any of the typical politician-type things. That is because I am not a politician. I am an individual. I care about my country. I want to leave it better than I found it. My presidential philosophy is similar to the way I behave in the wilderness. I don't litter or destroy, and I repair any damage that others have done before me (that I can), and I pick up whatever trash I can carry out. Those entrusted to take care of America in the past have done a dismal job. They have littered with millions of toxic laws. They have looted our futures with confiscatory taxes. They have sprayed graffiti on the Constitution so that it can say what they want it to say. I don't know about you, but I hate stepping in "it" when someone has used the woods for a toilet and not finished the job by burying it. Government has been using America as its personal toilet for generations, and it is time to clean up the mess. It will not be pleasant. It will not be easy. Some Americans have grown attached to the stench, and will scream mightily when we begin cleaning up. If they love wallowing in filth, they are free to turn their own house into an open sewer if they so desire, but no one has the right to force us all to keep living in a nationwide cesspool. I intend to begin the reclamation of America. Will you help?