Saturday, March 28, 2015

Judgmental people: I am one

I recently lost a dear friend on Facebook, who was also a friend before Facebook. And it really upset me.

Earlier this week on Facebook, when I posted that I often forget how indoctrinated most people are, this person commented that they forget how judgmental most people are. I didn't even realize at the time they were referring to me, until I noticed they were no longer a Facebook friend.

But I answered the comment, anyway. At first I said some people are, but not everyone.

Then, I reconsidered.

I think everyone is judgmental- but people express it in different ways.

It is one thing to judge something as right or wrong- I suppose everyone does that. It's another thing entirely to impose your will on people doing something you see as wrong.

There are a lot of things I believe are wrong, but which I will defend people's right to do.

If you aren't stealing or attacking, I might still not agree with what you're doing, but I wouldn't use force to stop you. I might try to talk you out of it. I might shun you. I might make fun of you or say what an evil monster you are. I will only use force if I see you engaging in theft or aggression.

I'm not sure why that's such a difficult thing for some people to grasp.

I suspect this person abandoned me because of my stance against cops and the "conservative" politicians they like, although they never actually explained. (I had to go through a mutual friend to even find out anything at all, and to get an answer which involved me and my "high horse").

I can't lie to protect feelings or friendships... but it still hurts.

.

9 comments:

  1. "There is no I in team, but there are three u’s in shut the fuck up." Richarg Goolrick, In reference of reasons to quit Facebook.

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    1. That is true, but it is also where I get 90% of my feedback to everything I write.

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  2. While I don't participate in social media, it sounds to me like un-friending is its own judgement and shunning. This person didn't want an ongoing dialogue that might increase their understanding, even if they still didn't agree with you. They are projecting their own rigid judgementalism onto you.

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    1. What is funny is I never commented on her pro-cop/pro-military/pro-"conservative statism posts. I would roll my eyes and ignore them because she was a good friend. I don't do that for people I don't really care about. But, yeah, I got shunned. It's her right to do so. But, pointing out how she was being judgmental is something I had missed.

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  3. Being judgmental and discriminatory are two necessary and natural human actions. They both are the result of individuals processing information to make important life decisions. Yet, many categorically condemn both actions, no matter the target, no matter the reasoning involved.

    Why? I think it’s because both actions threaten conformity of thought and obedience to authority. Being judgmental and discriminatory are antithetical to following the herd. Being judgmental and discriminatory means you are actually THINKING, not just following.

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    1. Is it thinking to retreat to echo-chambers filled with your own opinion in the name being discriminating?

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  4. You're being judgmental when you disagree with me. You're being reasonable when you agree.

    What's so difficult about that to understand?

    Sam

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    1. Sam,

      You're so right!!!

      Thanks for the chuckles

      Delete
  5. It has been my personal experience that the people who ask me to censor myself are incapable of doing the same. The racist and nationalist hate-mongering that they have absorbed from life-long exposure to mainstream media manipulation makes it impossible. Most of these "let's not talk about this, you know how angry it makes me..." types have no opinions of their own. They simply repeat the fear-porn that they heard from Bill O"Reilly as if it were irrefutable truth. Much like Ken, I don't self-sensor for people I don't care for. And for those I do care for, I will self-sensor if they do to. With things moral and political removed, they usually want to talk about celebrity-ass or sports.

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