This is a difference I am trying to teach my daughter. It makes me unpopular sometimes when people think I need to make her "share". If I make her do it, it is not sharing.
I don't want her to grow up as one of those idiots (such as the president, congress, and other various puppeticians and bureaucraps) who think it is nice to give welfare to poor people. Charity, with your own money- great. "Giving" money that was never yours to give, which you supported being stolen under threat of death- not such a "good thing".
I do encourage my daughter to share, and ask her to put herself in the place of the other kid. But if she chooses not to share I will not force her to hand over her toy.
And, I never let her get away with forcing other kids to share with her, either. If the other kid's parent tries to force their kid to share I ask that they not do so.
Voluntaryism makes all the difference.
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this is a very interesting topic, something i hadn't really thought about until recently.
ReplyDeletewhile visiting with my sister, i noticed her 3 year old son's reluctance to share anything. he was scolded profusely when refusing to not share his toys... i mean, the way he wouldn't let any other kids play with his things (at his party by the way) did leave a sour taste in the parents' mouths, thus the scolding, but the kids didn't seem to care too much either way.
at the time, i sided with the parents. why not? i don't know what the hell that's like. but this has caused me to reconsider.
The sharing thing is so weird. Adults never act like that - they only seem to think it's important for 2-5 year olds. Just try asking one of those adults to 'share' their car with you.
ReplyDeleteI have a partial explanation. Most adults clearly think they own the child's toys, because it was bought with their money. Of course they also act like they have rightful ownership of the child too, which is ludicrous.
I am trying to instill an appreciation of property rights in my daughter. When she asks if she can do such-and-such with one of her toys, I tell her it is her toy and she can do whatever she wants with it. I may say I'd prefer she not, but it isn't my toy so it isn't my decision. Usually I am proud of the choices she makes. And she has also experienced some consequences that don't make her happy when she uses a toy "unwisely" (or takes it somewhere). She's learning.
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