I got half of this in an email, from someone who said it was only "pointed in one direction", and that I point in all directions. So, I added another direction. It's not perfect, by any means, but sometimes it is really hard to make a distinction where none really exists. See what you think.
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1. I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.
1a. I voted Republican because I love having the power to insert myself into other people's marriages through State coercion. Everything is subject to licensing, even love.
2. I voted Republican because I don't care what oil companies do as long as it doesn't affect my driving habits.
2a. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
3. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
3a. I voted Republican because I believe without government "laws" my friends, family, and neighbors will not know the difference between right and wrong and they might do things I don't like.
4. I voted Republican because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as I am not offended by it saying things I don't like about my traditional values.
4a. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
5. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
5a. I voted Republican because I trust the police and military with guns even though they kill more innocents than all the freelance criminals combined.
6. I voted Republican because I want authorities to absolve me from the consequences of my actions, and because I like to poop in my nest. And, because I believe "laws" are the answer.
6a. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
7. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
7a. I voted Republican because I'm not concerned about millions of babies, children, mothers, and fathers being bombed to death in "Brown people countries" so long as we keep all American fetuses alive. And as long as we can keep killing people to show that killing is wrong.
8. I voted Republican because I believe government owns the whole country and can violate my right to decide who I allow, or not, on my property- and that Social Security is not socialism because I paid into it all those years.
8a. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.
9. I voted Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.
9a. I voted Republican because I believe that businesses should submit to government before being allowed to engage in trade, should be "taxed" to support the military, and that many consensual economic activities should be forbidden because I don't like them.
10. I voted Republican because I believe that the Constitution is Holy and can't be improved upon even when it authorizes the government to commit acts of evil.
10a. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
11. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions for their oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.
11a. I voted Republican because I think it's OK to pay trillions of dollars of your money to bomb and invade countries to make their people hate us, as long as it keeps the oil flowing and keeps me feeling patriotic bliss.
12. I voted Republican because my head is so firmly planted up my a**, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
12a. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my a**, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
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