In the manner of the US federal government, I have unilaterally decided that all laws passed since the original Constitution and Bill of Rights are now null and void.
I hear the masses of oppressed productive Americans breathing a sigh of relief. "But wait" I hear you say. "What about laws which deal with things that didn't exist in the late 18th century?" Don't worry about them; I won't. There are plenty of hazards that existed in that quaint era for you to get your knickers in a knot over. Swords and muskets existed back then, so you will be required to obey every single sword or musket control law in the Constitution. Sorry, but that is just how it must be. You will also be responsible for obeying all the environmental regulations that the Constitution applies to your horses' exhaust-pipes. You must apply the definition of the words that were in common usage at the time they were written, and not "go soft" by using more modern "kinder, gentler" translations. And don't worry, the .0001% of the US government that will still exist under the new rules will be enforcing the Highest Law of the Land from now on, since they will be freed from enforcing the ridiculously silly edicts they have been wasting their time with for the past couple of centuries.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled hallucination.
