Today I have an appointment to see a doctor about something I don't want to see a doctor about. It has had me really upset for the past couple of weeks-- ever since the office called to tell me they had made this appointment that I knew nothing about. Medical issues (even potential ones I didn't know about) make me feel helpless and wrecked. Ever since my bike wreck when I was 12, I've had an irrational panic over medical things and I hate being around doctors, no matter the context.
I know it has affected my writing-- and even my ability to write anything-- recently. I find it hard to think about anything else. As the appointment approaches, the effect has been even worse. For that, I apologize.
There's really no way this appointment can go any way that makes me happy unless they say "Oops. Never mind." Suggesting tests to be done isn't a good outcome-- in fact, that's the one I dread the most.
I may not mention this again, so there may be no updates.
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