KentForLiberty pages

Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Being neighborly


I don't meddle, but I do observe and get concerned. There's a line somewhere between not being nosey and not defending the innocent. I don't want to get it wrong.

A neighbor of mine has attracted my attention.

She hasn't been emotionally well for a long time. Her daughter was killed in a car wreck a few years before my daughter was killed in a car wreck-- both at about the same age. She hasn't done as well as I have in the years since. I get it, but I care.

She's about my age and her elderly mother lives with her. She has aged enough that I sometimes have trouble telling whether it's her or her mother I see. She goes through phases where she doesn't bother getting dressed but just wears a robe when out in her yard.

I've tried to reach out to her a few times, but she's not very receptive-- and it may just be that she doesn't like me. The dumpster we share is right behind her house. I speak to her when I see her. Sometimes she responds and sometimes she doesn't; she seems to be pretending she doesn't see or hear me.

What has me concerned is that a young couple moved in with her a few months ago. I've heard that this is another daughter or step-daughter and her husband. They brought small dogs-- which then had puppies-- and all the dogs run amok when they get out of the fence.

The young couple seems to be running the house and destroying the yard. I would be afraid to see inside the house.

In the past, this woman's yard would sometimes get a few bags of trash piled right beside the back porch. I guess she just didn't want to walk it to the dumpster. If it had gotten too bad I would have asked if she needed help, but it never did.

Now her yard looks like a landfill, with shredded trash and polyester cushion filling everywhere. I wouldn't care-- her property, not mine-- but I suspect she's being taken advantage of by the new residents. She never let things get anywhere near this bad before they came along. Plus, when I do see her she seems even less friendly than before. And I see her less often, too.

I'm just taking note for now. If I get a chance to speak to her I'll ask how she's doing and if everything's alright. I don't want to meddle, but I also don't want to stand aside while someone is used and abused.

And, no, I'm not calling "the authorities" because there's no situation so bad it can't be made worse by adding a cop to the mix.
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2 comments:

  1. You're very tolerant. The neighbor's mounting pile of trash damages your property in two ways: it reduces its market value, and invades it with noxious odors (or if not now, it soon will.) If you wished to do so, you could reasonably ask her to stop. Or even offer to clear the yard for her, moving stuff into the dumpster. Should she insist on paying you for that service, you'd not have to refuse...

    Since the poor lady seems to be losing her grip, might there be an opportunity to approach the younger couple? Delicate, but perhaps not impossible.

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    Replies
    1. Reduced market value only hurts me if I want to sell, and it can help reduce the annual property ransom by the county (or whoever).

      Her chain link fence is keeping the mess mostly contained at the moment. I pick up trash constantly, but haven't noticed anything I can positively assert came from her yard. With the wind in these parts, if anything does escape, it probably won't stop at my property.
      Also, there doesn't seem to be any food among the trash, so (other than dog poop) I don't think there's anything to stink.

      Plus, I very strongly suspect the younger couple is to blame for the recent mess. I know they are to blame for the new pack of dogs.

      I'm going to watch for opportunities to speak to her and see if I can tell what's going on.

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