"I didn't know liberty could cause anxiety and loss of certainty! My doctor prescribed Government to give me back the illusion of security. Thank goodness for Government!
"When I suffered from liberty, I was always facing consequences for my actions. Some of those consequences were scary and uncomfortable! Now I don't need to take responsibility for my actions anymore. Government will take care of me!
"Thinking for myself is a thing of the past. I don't have to wonder now if something is right or wrong; Government tells me if it is 'legal' instead! Talk about convenience!
"Government makes the decisions about what medications I should be allowed to use; how and where I can travel; how to spend my money; and so many other things that used to burden me so terribly! But no more!
"Government saved me from the burden of self-ownership. Ask your doctor if Government is right for you! You'll be glad you did!"
Warning: Government may cause lack of morality and/or common sense. If victim disarmament or genocide occur, discontinue use and see your doctor immediately. If tyranny persists, or gets worse, discontinue use and do not seek a replacement Government. If you have a Government that lasts longer than 150 years, make nooses and seek revolutionary solutions. Government is a product of Coercion Unlimited, International.