The Cruelest Slavery

The cruelest slavery, and the most difficult for me to escape, is that which originates from my own mind. It is comparatively easy to ignore the stupid edicts of the state. I am not emotionally bound to them or to the state from whence they ooze. The limitations imposed by my own mind, possibly based on scars from my past, are much harder to overcome. Some of this is probably due to upbringing. Some is definitely due to things that have happened since I became an "adult". Yet almost all of it is due to processes that go on in my head that feed the guilt monster. I am also an incredibly lazy person; at least if it is something I see no point in doing. I can work like a maniac on something I want to accomplish, something that I can see the point in doing, but give me busywork or a task where I see no chance of success and you'd think I was in a drug induced daze. I realize I have no one to blame other than myself, and that makes me angry... at me.