Is writing about freedom "doing something" or is it just a way to soothe myself? Are there better things I could do? I am sure there probably are. There are many ways in which I am far from being free. Financial freedom is never to be mine. I have an amazing ability to repel money ... like two north poles of a magnet. It does not matter how well something works for everyone else, as soon as I try it, it stops making money and begins to cost. Even such seemingly simple things as having a "job". Romantic relationships have also been difficult for me all my life. I think a large part of that has been my unwilling vow of poverty. My previous wives only seemed to see me as a source of money (one of them still tries), and when I was never able to produce the funds to their satisfaction, they became disillusioned and angry. Marriages can not survive that forever. Then there is also the unfortunate experience that most women who I know do not understand or want freedom. They are content to let government "take care" of them so they don't need to worry about "those things". They tell me I am being difficult or weird. "Can't you just go along?" No, I am sorry, but I can't.
Is writing about freedom simply a way I use to try to express my frustration? A frustration that is really about myself? Am I searching for a way to be free of me? I have no answers, only questions. I wonder about those questions a lot.
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